Running of the Bulls
I was going to do the most epic thing in my life to conquer my fear. As I joined the queue I looking terror sticken just looking at the bulls ready, to wipe me out to deceased. "Can I run this race," I questioned the man.
"Yes," the man replied but I don't care if you die.
"One, two, three," the man yelled, guards ran to the fence and it began. Running and running but my lungs can't hold anymore. Suddenly I woke up.
Your second sentences doesn't make sense, " I looking terror stricken. Also in your second sentence you have a comma in the wrong spot. The last three sentences are really confusing. Just make sure you mumble read it might help.
ReplyDeleteYour 2nd sentence dosnt make sence.
ReplyDeleteI think you need a sperate line for when people talk.
Also it could be "jazzed" up a bit more, its really good but make sure its clear.