Haunted House
In a strange universe where it always rains so everyone had an umbrella. There was a haunted house in the mountains where some people went in and never came back. I walked up and knocked the door hard. This macabre voice said to me, "come in and have fun," so I went in and the door behind me slammed to the wall. This red bloody fork came across my face and crashed into the wall. In the dusty old house ghosts floated around me. Although I wasn't their anymore.
In the second sentences you said "hunted" instead of "haunted." Also the third sentence is a run on sentence. Make sure to look for repetitive sentences. Good work!
ReplyDeleteGood story but there is some run on sentences and you said "hunted"
ReplyDeleteI think on the second sentence you meant there instead of their. Your story was pretty good.
ReplyDelete