Wednesday, 4 May 2016
1000WC WEEK#16
My Sunday routines were going as planned, relax all day, with movies or go outside. I was feeling like I needed to watch a movie, so I did. My dad joined me shortly after, the movie started. We were getting to the good part of the movie suddenly, my dad noticed the ground shaking, fear hit me like lighting, and I knew it was an earthquake, so we went under the table and after we were safe.
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Cool story, but you said 'felling' instead if 'feeling'. Also you could make some of your sentences stronger and add more powerful words. Your first sentence is a bit confusing because you say you do your normal routine and then you are wondering if you should go outside or stay inside.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Soccorlover about how you spelt feeling. You need a comma after movie: I was feeling like watching a movie, so I did. Also I think you should try to read it out loud to check all the tenses because sometimes I get confused. You could also check for sentences that don't flow properly and you can add a word or two.
ReplyDeleteIn the second sentence it said feling when i think you ment feeling. but good story.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lilytiger in that you should read it out loud to see if it flows nicely the way you've broken up your sentences with periods and commas.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you don't have a title.
ReplyDelete